The advent of the Web arguably represents the greatest advance in the facilitation of free speach since the invention of the printing press. Although criticisms have often been levelled that any random crazy Joe can go on-line and publish a load of complete and utter drivel, some material can be particularly striking in being self-evidently true. The revelations of Our Lord Kelvin, forming the basis of the One True Religion, Kelvinism, is a case in point. Where else can His Holy Words of Wisdom (such as "X-rays will prove to be a hoax.", "With three parameters, I can fit an elephant.", and "I can state flatly that heavier than air flying machines are impossible.") be found? After meditating upon His Words, it is clealr that one must pay no head to the lies of the Thermic Relativists ever again!
The true nature of society can be further understood, when one becomes enlightened as to the truth regarding Scary Squirrels. In contrast, some confort can be gained in the knowledge that rather that plot to take over the world, all hampsters appear to do is just dance (but extremely well, and such a catchy theme tune too!). It may also be of fundamental importance to come to the realization that the Earth is hollow (remember - you read it here first!), as is the knowledge that Papa Smurf is a dirty commie.
Needless to say, such little-reported goings on are already documented by the near-omniscient Web, such as in high impact e-journals like the Fortean Times, and Chickenhead. Despite this, some key subjects remain dangerously under-reported, to the certain detrement of society. Who, for instance, is aware that Furby hookers are readily available to provide comfort to the truely desperate amongst us, or that bananas were quite so interesting?
Worried whether any of the above might not be 100% true? Reassure yourself that they are not just Urban Legends and Folklore.
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A number of numerical simulation models have been developed and kindly provided on-line for the benefit of the wider scientific community. Formost amongst these are those that seek to simulate astronomical orbitals and object trajectories according to Newtonian dynamics (relativestic effects are commonly omitted). For instance, the interplanetary motion of the humble penguin is addressed in this study, while the purely terrestrial trajectory taken by a typical cow is considered here (while on the cow theme, Can you floor Mike Bison?).
Not all numerical models involve the calculating the flight paths of non-flightworthy normally earth-bound species. One study takes a detailed look at the consequences of the enhanced thermal regime that is to be found at the focal point of a concave lens. However, you must be tall enough to attack a city to run this simulation.
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Despite not being in possession of a telly(!), I am not entirely devorced from real-world events, and am happy to divulge exclusive details of the daily programming to be found on Taliban TV (as intercepted by US spy satellites).
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